Tuesday, September 22, 2009

why we do what we do...

In life I feel like it's so easy to get caught up in the motions of everything that we do. Even in ministry- I find this happening. For me, its easy to get caught up in the checklist of it. I work at the school that I am a YoungLife leader at, so interaction with students is an everyday thing. I take it for granted to sit around and hear about their lives.

In all this though, God seems to have a way of knocking me to the floor with the opportunities to really seek Him in my everyday life at FPD. That happened to me today. I've been talking to some girls about a bunch of stuff that's been going on in their lives- which all kind of came to a major crazy point this weekend. In this whole situation I've just been kind of baffled by all of it- I feel like my brain is on information overload of the shenanigans. Its reminded me so much why I have to just take it to the Lord- and do everything I can to direct the students I have these relationships with to Him.

And then, today, sitting and having a one on one conversation with one of the students- I was brought even more down with the knowledge of the pain and hearbreaking things she has experienced. I didn't really have good words in response...and I still don't...I've just kind of sat here heartbroken for her....and that brought me back to the point of why we do what we do. I can't change her past- but I can love her and pray for her and show her the love that can really change her life in Jesus.

I know this post is a little heavier than most of mine...its just really thoughts that are laying hard on my heart tonight...

Thursday, September 3, 2009

hmmmm

I know I haven't written in a while. And I still haven't finisehd giving y'all an overview of my summer as promised...sorry. That's kinda how my life has seemed these days though- unable to keep up. I feel like everything I do I just hurry up and do it so it can get done...which is probably not the best way to live. But thats how it is these days. Not really sure what I can do to fix it. I feel like everybody else is so on top of life sometimes- and I'm just not. I'm not trying to whine or make people (if anybody really does read this anyways) feel bad for me...that's really just how I feel these days. I'm stressed about my job, I miss my sister, and I just feel kind of uncertain and weirdly uncomfortable about things in life right now. Its probably all just because my job is so hard right now and there's a lot of pressure there that seems impossible to escape...

Anyways, I'm glad to still be feeling okay enough with life....I'm excited about YoungLife getting started up (even if that does mean more stuff to do)...but that's going to be a lot different this year too.

So anyways, I was feeling overwhelmed as I got to work this morning (I woke up late and somehow actually ended up here early) and so I thought I'd write out some of my stress so I could focus better on my many tasks at hand.

Oh, and I'm designing a new blog on wordpress. I'm excited about it. So if i ever get that done it will be "bye,bye blogger" and on to my newly designed blog.

Friday, August 7, 2009

Some quick morning thoughts

Okay, so apparently I'm really bad at going back and blogging about things from this summer- but I will at some point in time I promise. But for now I want to share some quick thoughts that I've been reflecting on this morning. Let me introduce this by saying this week has been pretty rough at work- I've worked pretty much non-stop for the past 4 days. Between Tuesday and Thursday I slept like 6 hours total and did a ton of data entry among other things. I love my job all the time, but this week has been a tough one. So, as I was thinking about that I was thinking about how I really just wish I was back in the Bahamas and so I went back and read one of the entries I made it notebook about my experience. This is what it says:

Reference Verse:
"Though I have much to write to you, I would rather not use paper and ink. Instead, I hope to come to you and talk face to face so that our joy may be complete." 2nd John 1:12

I read these words from the second letter of John the first morning we were in the Bahamas as we began our sailing expedition. I was almost surprised to come upon a verse so relevant to what I was doing: sitting there reading the Bible, God written word letter to us, yet also getting an awesome opportunity to see Him and really meet Him face to face. I felt like God had inspired those words through John just so I personally could read them- sitting on the Bahama Star (our boat) in the middle of the ocean on a beautiful Monday. And then the last part of that verse-- so that our joy may be complete speaks so clearly to me of this trip- an opportunity to simply play all day, having a blast and experiencing the true joy of experiencing God's creation.

Now, back to today...as I read that I realized that those words in that verse don't just refer to vacations or retreat times or whatever- they refer to today, when I have to leave for work in 5 minutes and go to place where I have a ton of pressure on me- God wants to meet me face to face there and in everything I do. I don't know why I miss that so much. Today, my prayer is that we can all go and seek to meet him face to face in whatever we do- because He is there no matter what. It makes going to work on a hard week a little easier when I know I'm going to go and be there with my Savior.

Sunday, August 2, 2009

Compassion...totally out of order...don't hate

Okay, so I've had something kind of random on my mind for the past day...so even though this is not in sync with my "going back through the summer" series I have going on right now, please indulge me for a minute while I talk about something I care about. Now, anybody who knows me knows of my involvement with YoungLife- a ministry for high school students that I work with. If I ever had to choose a favorite ministry (and thankfully, I don't) it would without a doubt be YoungLife. My heart and soul is invested in this ministry. There's not a whole lot I feel sure about in life, but it is evident to me that God has called me to this ministry. Having the awesome opportunity to walk alongside my high school friends and share Jesus with them is almost unfathomable and indescribeable. I love my kids...I love my fellow leaders...I love how YL is incarnational and doesn't judge. I could go on and on about how awesome it is and the amazing things God has done that I have seen and heard about through the years...and I probably will one day in this blog...but for now, I actually want to talk about another ministry that I've felt called to recently.

You see, because I'm involved in YL, I've always felt like that kind of filled my "ministry" area of my life. I mean, I put lots of time, effort, and even money into it. So whenever people talk about other great ministries, I have thought "yeah, that's great for them...but I have YoungLife and that's what I do". However, I've learned that right when you think you know what you're doing and where you are...the Lord will call you to step up to the plate and follow Him even more. Thus is the case with my newfound inclination towards Compassion International. My family has had a compassion child for a few years, so I already knew a bit about the program-- and it seemed legit. Well, recently as I have started following various blogs, my roommate and I started reading some "Compassion blogs"...these are the blogs of different individuals who have gone on trips with Compassion to visit some of their service centers, the children Compassion serves, and even meet the specific kid they sponsor. Reading these blogs reminded me of poverty that I don't see.

Around the same time that we started reading these blogs, my roommate and I watched Slumdog Millionaire. Alex (the roomie) declared that she wished she could adopt all the little children in India in the slums...to which of course I reminded her we didn't have the money to do (I'm the realistic one sometimes- Debby Downer if you will). So, we left it at that, read the blogs and talked about how cool it was and moved on with life. Until one day Alex called and said she was on the Compassion site and wanted to adopt all the Indian kids on the page. Again, as Debby Downer I reminded her that we couldn't quite afford that...but that maybe we could afford one. So, we (well, technically Alex) adopted Karthigai- a 12 year old beautiful girl from India. As we discussed how we would pay for it, we decided that our best option to be financially responsible would be to give up cable...and so we did. Like that, it was easy actually. Now, I've had cable all my life...so while it wasn't a huge sacrifice it was definitely a change. We currently have about 12 channels...and most of them are church services. I personally prefer to attend my church services in person, so I don't spend a lot of time in the TV Church land. But I digress...

Somehow I found myself looking at the Compassion webpage a few days later. (I blame flowerdust.net- I was reading her blog that day- more on her later)...and up popped a picture of a precious 4 year old boy that had been waiting for more than 6 months for a sponsor. He had a kind of adorable scowl on his face and I looked at him and saw a kid just like my nephew (I have a nephew that just turned 5, so I have a lot to base that on). It didn't take much more to make me decide to adopt Debu, I knew then and there that he was my boy.

Now proudly displayed on our refrigerator are pictures of 2 beautiful children on the other side of the world...but its the same world...and thats the cool part.

Fastforward to yesterday....I was in Atlanta because my nephew Ross just turned 5. I love all my neices and nephews and it was such a blessing to get to spend some time with Ross. I got him a sword for his birthday because he recently told me he collects swords. It's pretty cool- lights up and all that. I was excited that he seemed to be pumped about it too.

Anyways, on my way to Atlanta, I saw that one of the Compassion bloggers that I also follow on twitter was going to be speaking at a church near where my nephew lives and I thought this would be a great chance to go hear her speak. Her name is Anne Jackson and she might be my new hero. She was at Oakleaf Church in Cartersville (which is an amazing church btw-- they played Zac Brown's "Chicken Fried" after the service...won me over) talking about Compassion. A lot of the message Anne had to bring I already kind of knew-- I mean her words had already helped in convicting me to adopt Debu, but it was so cool to watch the videos she made in India on her Compassion trip and hear the stories as she talked about these children that it was evident she cared about. Its so easy to forget about poverty in the world. Its so easy to live in my nice little North Macon neighborhood and ignore the hungry people downtown and around the world. One of the things Anne said at that service last night was "if you don't live like you believe you were created to change the world, then you are missing the point of salvation" (that's the Amy Kenney paraphrase probably). That really hit me...I guess because its a pretty bold statement...but so true. Its so easy for me to settle for trying to be a good person, but in reality, Jesus rescued us so that we could go and share his love with the world and if we don't go do that we are missing the whole thing.

So anyways, I've been thinking about the whole Compassion International deal in the past day especially in relation to my neices and nephews. Debu is the same age as one of my nephews. He could be right in there with them. I have 7 (and one on the way) neices and nephews and they are some of the coolest kids in the world. I love to be able to buy them things and take them places and just spend time with them. I don't know if Debu has anybody who loves him as much as I love my neices and nephews...but he has me now...and I hope that I can show him that I love him like that...I pray that as I continue in this relationship with Debu that the Lord will teach me how to show love to a precious little boy all the way across the world.

So, I hope that if you're reading this blog you've at least been inspired to read up on what Compassion is about. You can go to their website www.compassion.com. It's an awesome organization and a great way to get involved in really combatting poverty in the world. Check them out, and if you have the means (or can give up cable or something!) look into adopting one of the precious children. It's only like $38 dollars a month. You can choose an age or country or gender or whatever. One side note, if you do decide to check out adopting a kid- look to see the ones with little hearts by their name- that means they've been waiting more than 6 months for a sponsor. Oh, and to read Anne Jackson's blog check out www.flowerdust.net.

OLD School with Project LEAD

Okay, so I'm trying to catch up my blog on my life...so that maybe there can be some semblance of order to future posts. I was going to work backwards and talk about most recent things and go through the summer that way...but I'm way too anal for that. So, instead, I'm going to try transplant myself back to the begininng of my summer and go through all the awesome things I did and talk about them. I feel like this is kind of a cheating way of blogging...I mean, if I was blogging about things as they happened that would probably be much more intriguing...but I guess I'll have to just say take what you can get with me. :) That's just kind of how I roll.

Before I start discussing OLD School and the Project LEAD trip, I will say I went into this summer already stressed. I looked at my schedule, realizing I would rarely be in Macon and had a ton of places to be and was ready to throw in the towel of productivity. I realize this is ridiculous- especially since so many of my trips (actually all of them) were awesome opportunities and projected to be great fun, but I'm a structured person, and so being away from home so much and not being able to focus and organize everything about my summer was stressing me out. But the cool thing is, God has taught me a lot about stresss this summer. Really, God has taught me a lot about Himself in general, and I think it took me not having control over everything for me to learn these lessons. I don't know if that makes any sense at all...but it seems to have worked as I have really worked to give my time to the Lord and he has blessed me immensly through that. So anyways, let's start with the Project LEAD trip:

Project LEAD is a student leadership organization at FPD that I work with. We were excited to have a big group this year and really excited about participating in this program I found in my internet research called OLD School. OLD School is Outdoor Leadership and Discipleship School and is a wilderness/backpacking program through a Christian Camp called Snowbird Wilderness Outfitters. Our Project LEAD group was divided into 2 groups- one co-ed and one all girls. My group was the all girls group and it was awesome (I'm sure the other group was awesome too..but obviously I got to experience my group's awesomeness first hand). Our group also included 2 guides- Meredith and Rachel who were wonderful.

The trip consisted of lots of different adventuresome things--- this is how our week looked:
Monday-- spend night at basecamp

Tuesday-- hike about 8 miles
I will say that this was a tough hike definitely. It was our first day, our packs were heavy but luckily we were enthusiastic and so it worked out great. We stayed together as a group and it was awesome to see the girls encourage each other and work together to keep moving even when we were really hot and tired. We camped on the trail and had fun trying to build a fire that night (i.e. it took forever to build a fire but we made it happen).

Wednesday-- hike about 6 miles, canoe to peninsula
We hiked back down the mountain this day-- which was also tough. I enjoyed hiking along and talking with Meredith (one of our guides) and Lauren (one of the students)...we would stay back to allow everybody some time to get ahead and had fun discussing books, beliefs, etc. Its a cool opportunity to meet with other believers. I think God often puts people in our lives in random situations like that to teach us and remind us of the things we can so often forget in our day to day interactions (even with other Christians). Once we got down the mountain we had a crazy rainstorm which is always fun so we had to wait to go canoeing to our next campsite. Once the thunderstorm stopped we canoed over to the peninsula. My canoe partner was Alyson (student) and I must say that Alyson and I have some awesome canoeing chemistry. We had a ton of fun doing 360s in the middle of the lake waiting for everybody. We camped there that night--- staying up late and praying bears couldn't swim.

Thursday- "cliff" jump, canoe, rafting, rainstorm
Before canoeing back to get picked up to go rafting, we had the opporutnity to climb some rocks and jump into the lake...it was about a 30 ft jump and I will say I was definitely scared...but I'm glad I did it. The highlight of Thursday, though, was definitely rafting the Nantahala River. Our group had quite the rafting trip- as the water was freezing, it torrentially rained on us for a while, and both me and one of my students (Sydney) got pretty roughed up. It was an awesome time- even getting smashed into a rock :). That night we camped at a more legit "campground" with flushing toilets which was nice...but it thunderstormed pretty bad and so we pretty much eneded up sleeping in puddles, but it was okay because we still had fun.

Friday- mountain biking, base camp, Huddle House, not sleeping
Friday morning a few of us got up and went mountain biking which was awesome, especially because of how muddy it was from all the rain the night before. I wrecked/fell off the bike twice and we all got ridiculously muddy. One of my favorite pictures of the whole trip is me and Lauren ridiculously muddy. That night we slept back at basecamp...they actually gave us a cabin which was awesome, but we didn't sleep. We took our awesome guides to Huddle House and then sat in the van for a couple hours talking and just hanging out.

Saturday- home sweet home

Let me just say that this week with Project LEAD was awesome. Throughout the week, my group was studying the book of 1st Peter. It was cool to sit with my students and hear them really hash out what the Lord was saying through these words. And Meredith and Rachel were awesome leaders- I was so impressed by their biblical knowledge and ability to lead discussion. That is an area that I always feel deficient in- knowing how to lead group discussions and being with them (people my age, even a little younger, that were confident in this) definitely gave me a desire to study the word more to have a better understanding of it. In fact, being a Snowbird in general really helped me in my journey with knowing Jesus. I was reminded of the importance of true and intense study of the word and specifically of memorization of scripture. This is something that I have carried on through the summer and I'm looking forward to continuing this growth. In fact, the more I really take the time to sit and study God's word, the more I want to. Also, just to give a Snowbird plug- if you are looking for some good teachings to listen to look up Snowbird Wilderness Outfitters on itunes. The main preacher for them is this guy Brody and he is defintiely legit.

With all that being said, I think that God have the perfect plan for my summer-- especially starting out with this trip, plus I made 2 great friends in Meredith and Rachel which was awesome. Oh, and this trip is also what inspired me to try to turn my cell off for at least an hour a day...and I must say that was a great decision in general. I'm super addicted to my "crackberry" and so turning it off for an hour a day (which i dont always do but I'm trying) is a great time to just be away from it and allow me to focus on other things and not be so dependent on a stupid little machine.

Anyways, be looking for the contiuned saga of my summer...I believe I'll be talking about the Whipple Hill User Conference next. So if you're a nerd...be sure to tune into that post :).

Wednesday, July 29, 2009

So bad at blogging

So I'm really bad at blogging. I mean, I rarely actually take the time to sit down and write things out. But this summer has been crazy in an awesome kind of way....so I think I'm going to have to sit down at some point in time in the next week or so and talk about it. For now, I'll give you a preview of some of the things I'll talk about.
-OLD School- backpacking in North Carolina with Project LEAD
- Boston- Whipple Hill User Conference
- Kentucky- Annual Family Reunion trip
- Bahamas- YoungLife Senior Sailing trip
- and maybe just a little bit about the little bit of normal life times I have gotten to experience in Macon.
Be looking for some updates....hopefully soon. But for now, I'm at work, so I gotta keep trucking.

Thursday, April 30, 2009

:)

So, I find it really difficult to keep up with the whole blogging thing. I often find myself thinking-- "i really need to blog about that" as I experience different things in life. I don't mean like I have many life changing events occurring constantly or anything like that...but more so that I want to be able to highlight the things in my life that are memorable and worth stepping back to recount. So, based on that, for this blog I'm going to have to share some randomness of the past few weeks in my life and things that I have been thinking about, etc.

1. The Hititchi Trail Adventure: One Sunday evening a couple weeks ago, Alex, Steebo and I are eating at Francar's and decide to go fishing. Its getting to be the time when the sun will be setting soon...but we're adventurous and so head to fish anyways. We end up going to a place A-Flo knows of and has been to once. Well, to make a really long story short...we ended up hiking about 2 miles in and of course by the time we go to the river it was dark. We had quite an adventure hiking out in the pitch black with only my cell phone light as a guide. This evening is legendary already for the three of us. We had too much fun...i especially enjoyed carrying a walking stick around that was convertible into a javeling, spear, or bayonet, depending on what the sitaution neccesitated. Needless to say, we made it out alive and well...but I would like to give a shout out to everybody that we called to tell "please send a search party if we don't return".

2. Mike Kinnebrew/ Drew and Ellie concert: YoungLife held a concert to benefit campership for club a couple weeks ago and it featured some of my favorite artists. Mike's playing and passion always draw me in. He ended the night with my favorite song "Something Worth Saving" (mentioned a couple blogs ago) and it was just a truly amazing moment to be a part of. I know that song also means a lot to one of my friends that was there...and I feel like I was able to truly undersatnding its meaning as I sat there listening to it. It was beautiful. Drew and Ellie Holcomb with Nathan followed Mike and they are truly amazing. We joked about how every girl there wanted to be Ellie because she is amazing. I love Drew and Ellie and their music-- as well as their heart for high school students and YoungLife in particular.

3. Middle School Field Day: I was asked to play on the Faculty team for the legendary middle school field day student vs. faculty volleyball game. It was fun even though I pretty much sucked it up...I was glad to not to make the team lose. It was one of those things that really wasn't a big deal, but I was glad to be able to hang out with the middle schoolers and have a good time.

4. SharpTop Cove: This past weekend me, Laura, Alex, and three of our high school friends went to SharpTop Cove for family camp weekend to do Kid's club. Well, it turned out that they actually were short on work crew...so we ended up doing that too. So, we basically spent 2 and half days working our tails off at YoungLife camp and it was glorious. There is something about being on that mountaintop with a ton of people that you know are in the same boat as you...and on the same team in a way. I worked harder this weekend than I've worked in a while...and I would go back and do it all over again every weekend if I could. It's hard to explain that magic that occurs are you arrive onto a YoungLife property...but it is truly amazing. It's not that everything is perfect or that there is not stress or problems...but it seems that there we remember that we can give our problems to Jesus (which is the case all the time...but it just seems easier to remember on a mountain top i guess) and our stress is about getting things done, but not angry or frustrated. One of the little girls was playing tag and fell on the ground while we were there...I helped her get up and dust off her knees and then said to her "You know what the best thing about falling at YoungLife camp is?...even though your knee might hurt a little...you're still at YoungLife camp- it's beautiful and the most fun ever!"....and sweet Molly quickly agreed. All I can say is if you've never been to a YoungLife camp, you should totally remedy that if you ever have the opportunity. It will be the best time ever-- guaranteed!

5. Missional Community: My church (New City Church Downtown) has these small groups called missional communities. AFlo likes to refer to them as house church. It's basically an opportunity to get together ina smaller, more intimate environment with people in the church and start really living out the concept of community. We just started attending an MC and we had an informal dinner gathering last night. It was the frist time I've really felt at home in a church group outside of my family's church (currently in Augusta). We arrived early to fish in the pond where the MC is held (The Evans'--- wonderful people!), which is amazing becuase we love fishing and actually caught something. After fishing we had an awesom meal and then played ping pong and really just hung out and had a good time. It was a great experience. It makes me fired up for getting involved at New City.

So anyways, I know these are some random things...but they have been on my heart and on my mind lately. I'm thankful for the opportunities the Lord has given me lately to have fun and relax...it helps me keep my focus on Him...and with that, I know I can't go wrong.