About Me...(with a side of pop culture)

So I just went back and looked at my last 2 blogs. And I feel like they possibly couldn't be more different. One was all about my ministry and my commitment to showing high school friends the love of Jesus...and the other was about this pop star that most people that are on board with the whole Jesus thing don't necessarily see the appeal of. Yet, I love Jesus...and I love Lady Gaga (for those of you that are starting to question my Jesus loving, let me clarify that the love I have for Jesus is a lot different and realistic to me). I also love the David Crowder Band....and Britney Spears.

I'm just kind of like that though. If you're wanting the type of person you could easily put in a box...you might as well slide on by me. That's why I really hate those "about me" sections on anything. I mean, is it normal for people to feel comfortable putting into a few words what it is that defines them? Because for me, I just feel like there's so many different layers of who I am...that come out in so many different ways at different times...and then there's the things about me that I feel like have to come out in everything...no matter who I am. Such as my relationship with Jesus...its so much a part of me that I feel like it has to affect every part of my life. And then there's the fact that I tend to be a brat...unfortunately that also comes out in many parts of my life....you'd think I would grow out of that...but who knows. I also like to categorize myself as a hippie, nerd, redneck, thug, with a little bit of prep mixed in. How's that for a combo?

This is a rambling post...I'm aware...so if you're reading it and wondering why you're still reading...well....to be honest, I'm wondering why I'm still typing...but so it goes.

In other news, the whole Tiger Woods thing really upsets me...not that I don't feel the need to have grace for him...but just that it happened. It reminds me how stupid it is to put people on a pedestal...but at the same time, its hard for me to thing that I don't want to admire anybody...so where is the balance there? I'm easily disillusioned with the world...which I guess is a good thing...because to be satisfied with this world would be a bad thing...but it makes me sad.

Random thought #67686: I'm currently addicted to the TV show Gossip Girl...its ridiculous. If thats really how life is on the Upper East Side in NY than I really hope they have a strong YoungLife program there :).

Last thing: I recently gave in and downloaded the first episode of Glee...I hope I hate it because I'm really trying not to be that person that just loves whatever is popular...but its inevitable that I'll probably become a fan. Gotta love being a pop culture sellout.

The Lady Gaga Phenomenon and Why I am a Monster!

I have a weird obsession with celebrities. I admit its pretty immature. But I really love music and artists. I purposefully stay very connected to the popular music scene- spending so much more money on itunes than necessary. So recently, when Lady Gaga started to become well known, I was naturally intrigued. At first she really kind of freaked me out. Her videos are insane and her live performances are so incredibly out there...but as I began to listen to her music, I found myself really feeling drawn to it. I will say, I think I partially liked her because she reminds me of Madonna (and I love Madonna). Before leaving for Augusta last week I bought her latest album The Fame Monster and made a GagaSwizzlePick (Lady Gaga, Taylor Swift, Kellie Pickler- crazy combo I know but amazing nonetheless) playlist for my drive. By the time I arrived in Augusta, I was in love with Lady Gaga...and I'm still not sure why.

I think I'm most drawn to her passion. Her "Monster Ball" (name of her concert) is a truly artistic masterpiece. As is every single one of her videos. Lady Gaga isn't just making videos that she thinks will be popular- she is obviously very focused on the artistry of it and I respect that. So, I wonder, how long will she be around? I don't know...but this I do know, she is created a loyal fan base. Her "monsters" (what she refers to her fans as) are most important to her and she is true to them. She even sent food to a group of fans waiting for her for a signing at Best Buy. Lady Gaga has been quoted many times saying that she's not in it for the fame and you can tell. She is a straight shooter. She'll never be a sell out...and that's why I think people like her. Yes, her music is catchy and risque....but its meaningful. As people continue to follow her, I think she is doing a lot for the true art of popular music. Her "musical theater" take on her videos and live performances are introducing people to an art form that they've (myself included) never really gotten to experience by listening to the top 40. So, I know this is random, but if you're not easily offended...or even if you're just interested in knowing what is popular in culture today- check out a Lady Gaga video. Watch it to appreciate the art of it. Just like you're not offended by the nakedness of the Statue of David...try to observe from a cultural perspective and I think we could all really learn to appreciate something we're not necessarily used to.

Props to you Lady Gaga-- for being original, for never selling out, and for taking me from being a creeped out observer of your music to one that has learned to appreciate that art that you create onstage.

My Commitment

Back when I started as YoungLife leader, my area director handed out a sheet to us when he was talking to us about how the mission of YoungLife works. The sheet is a kind of letter from a guy named Bill Goans entitled "My Commitment". I have a couple copies of this laying around, because it has always really spoken to me as a reminder of the harsh world so many of my high school friends live in....and how this is always kind of the case. Today, I recreated my "Wall of Fame" in my office. It's nothing too exciting- but its a place where I put pictures of students- to show them how important they are to me...and how much I value them. In the center of my Wall of Fame is a simple printed Message version of John 10:10 and then this letter. I finally got around to laminating it so it doesn't get messed up. As I was putting pictures up this year, I placed 2 pictures intentionally right above this letter- so that whenever I look at these pictures I will read it...or whenever I read the letter I will look at these pictures. The first picture is of 2 students thave I adore that I've gotten to know recently. These are kids that I know God has put into my life to walk through things with them. The other picture is of 2 younger kids that I've gotten to know in the past couple of years. They're 5th graders now...and seem so young and innocent...and yet they serve as a reminder of how important it is to be in true relationships with these kids...and to continue that. Its amazing to me the Providence that exists in my relationships with these kids....and how I can feel led to a student and God will give me an awesome opportunity to serve them or hang out with them. I've had the name of one of those highschoolers form the pic above the letter written on my mirror in my bedroom for a year now- as a reminder to pray for her. I have no clue why I put her name on that list to begin with- obviously God put her on my heart...and I've been praying for her for a year...and now we hang out and talk and I feel so humbled that God is allowing me to be a part of her life in this way. So anyways, I wanted to share the words of this letter:

My Commitment by Bill Goans
As long as high school kids mill around at ball games looking for love in all the wrong places,
As long as they desperately seek an identity based on the opinions of friends and reputation,
As long as kids limp through the stands broken by family strife, enslaved by drugs, alcohol, and sex
I want to be found- not in the adult section where it is respectable and controlled, but right in the middle where passions, vulgar and profane, blurt out obscenity,
Where raucous and reckless facades hide wounded hearts filled with torment and fear,
Where the price tags have been changed and darkness confuses-
Right in the middle where God has positioned me to shine forth His grace, His Hope, His love and His truth.
As long as there is an enemy who can convince his victims that tomorrow doesn't matter, that harm will not find them, that chains are like jewerly and cool is free,
As long as his lies leave character, soul, and life in ruins- when thrill goes ill and fun turns fatal,
As long as terminal is only a passage word to an eternity of one's own choosing.
As long as God has rendered him a defeated foe using the weakest of us to shine a light that pierces the darkest places, that brings rescue to the lost,
As long as the darkness is blasted away by the light of the world- that Light that lives within all who know, follow, and love Him.
As long as there is such darkness, I'll man my post right in the middle of all that chaos, holding my position until he calls another play, and I steal home.

As long as we stand in such an important place, we must not forget what it means to be salt and ligh in this tasteless and dark generation.

why we do what we do...

In life I feel like it's so easy to get caught up in the motions of everything that we do. Even in ministry- I find this happening. For me, its easy to get caught up in the checklist of it. I work at the school that I am a YoungLife leader at, so interaction with students is an everyday thing. I take it for granted to sit around and hear about their lives.

In all this though, God seems to have a way of knocking me to the floor with the opportunities to really seek Him in my everyday life at FPD. That happened to me today. I've been talking to some girls about a bunch of stuff that's been going on in their lives- which all kind of came to a major crazy point this weekend. In this whole situation I've just been kind of baffled by all of it- I feel like my brain is on information overload of the shenanigans. Its reminded me so much why I have to just take it to the Lord- and do everything I can to direct the students I have these relationships with to Him.

And then, today, sitting and having a one on one conversation with one of the students- I was brought even more down with the knowledge of the pain and hearbreaking things she has experienced. I didn't really have good words in response...and I still don't...I've just kind of sat here heartbroken for her....and that brought me back to the point of why we do what we do. I can't change her past- but I can love her and pray for her and show her the love that can really change her life in Jesus.

I know this post is a little heavier than most of mine...its just really thoughts that are laying hard on my heart tonight...

hmmmm

I know I haven't written in a while. And I still haven't finisehd giving y'all an overview of my summer as promised...sorry. That's kinda how my life has seemed these days though- unable to keep up. I feel like everything I do I just hurry up and do it so it can get done...which is probably not the best way to live. But thats how it is these days. Not really sure what I can do to fix it. I feel like everybody else is so on top of life sometimes- and I'm just not. I'm not trying to whine or make people (if anybody really does read this anyways) feel bad for me...that's really just how I feel these days. I'm stressed about my job, I miss my sister, and I just feel kind of uncertain and weirdly uncomfortable about things in life right now. Its probably all just because my job is so hard right now and there's a lot of pressure there that seems impossible to escape...

Anyways, I'm glad to still be feeling okay enough with life....I'm excited about YoungLife getting started up (even if that does mean more stuff to do)...but that's going to be a lot different this year too.

So anyways, I was feeling overwhelmed as I got to work this morning (I woke up late and somehow actually ended up here early) and so I thought I'd write out some of my stress so I could focus better on my many tasks at hand.

Oh, and I'm designing a new blog on wordpress. I'm excited about it. So if i ever get that done it will be "bye,bye blogger" and on to my newly designed blog.

Some quick morning thoughts

Okay, so apparently I'm really bad at going back and blogging about things from this summer- but I will at some point in time I promise. But for now I want to share some quick thoughts that I've been reflecting on this morning. Let me introduce this by saying this week has been pretty rough at work- I've worked pretty much non-stop for the past 4 days. Between Tuesday and Thursday I slept like 6 hours total and did a ton of data entry among other things. I love my job all the time, but this week has been a tough one. So, as I was thinking about that I was thinking about how I really just wish I was back in the Bahamas and so I went back and read one of the entries I made it notebook about my experience. This is what it says:

Reference Verse:
"Though I have much to write to you, I would rather not use paper and ink. Instead, I hope to come to you and talk face to face so that our joy may be complete." 2nd John 1:12

I read these words from the second letter of John the first morning we were in the Bahamas as we began our sailing expedition. I was almost surprised to come upon a verse so relevant to what I was doing: sitting there reading the Bible, God written word letter to us, yet also getting an awesome opportunity to see Him and really meet Him face to face. I felt like God had inspired those words through John just so I personally could read them- sitting on the Bahama Star (our boat) in the middle of the ocean on a beautiful Monday. And then the last part of that verse-- so that our joy may be complete speaks so clearly to me of this trip- an opportunity to simply play all day, having a blast and experiencing the true joy of experiencing God's creation.

Now, back to today...as I read that I realized that those words in that verse don't just refer to vacations or retreat times or whatever- they refer to today, when I have to leave for work in 5 minutes and go to place where I have a ton of pressure on me- God wants to meet me face to face there and in everything I do. I don't know why I miss that so much. Today, my prayer is that we can all go and seek to meet him face to face in whatever we do- because He is there no matter what. It makes going to work on a hard week a little easier when I know I'm going to go and be there with my Savior.

Compassion...totally out of order...don't hate

Okay, so I've had something kind of random on my mind for the past day...so even though this is not in sync with my "going back through the summer" series I have going on right now, please indulge me for a minute while I talk about something I care about. Now, anybody who knows me knows of my involvement with YoungLife- a ministry for high school students that I work with. If I ever had to choose a favorite ministry (and thankfully, I don't) it would without a doubt be YoungLife. My heart and soul is invested in this ministry. There's not a whole lot I feel sure about in life, but it is evident to me that God has called me to this ministry. Having the awesome opportunity to walk alongside my high school friends and share Jesus with them is almost unfathomable and indescribeable. I love my kids...I love my fellow leaders...I love how YL is incarnational and doesn't judge. I could go on and on about how awesome it is and the amazing things God has done that I have seen and heard about through the years...and I probably will one day in this blog...but for now, I actually want to talk about another ministry that I've felt called to recently.

You see, because I'm involved in YL, I've always felt like that kind of filled my "ministry" area of my life. I mean, I put lots of time, effort, and even money into it. So whenever people talk about other great ministries, I have thought "yeah, that's great for them...but I have YoungLife and that's what I do". However, I've learned that right when you think you know what you're doing and where you are...the Lord will call you to step up to the plate and follow Him even more. Thus is the case with my newfound inclination towards Compassion International. My family has had a compassion child for a few years, so I already knew a bit about the program-- and it seemed legit. Well, recently as I have started following various blogs, my roommate and I started reading some "Compassion blogs"...these are the blogs of different individuals who have gone on trips with Compassion to visit some of their service centers, the children Compassion serves, and even meet the specific kid they sponsor. Reading these blogs reminded me of poverty that I don't see.

Around the same time that we started reading these blogs, my roommate and I watched Slumdog Millionaire. Alex (the roomie) declared that she wished she could adopt all the little children in India in the slums...to which of course I reminded her we didn't have the money to do (I'm the realistic one sometimes- Debby Downer if you will). So, we left it at that, read the blogs and talked about how cool it was and moved on with life. Until one day Alex called and said she was on the Compassion site and wanted to adopt all the Indian kids on the page. Again, as Debby Downer I reminded her that we couldn't quite afford that...but that maybe we could afford one. So, we (well, technically Alex) adopted Karthigai- a 12 year old beautiful girl from India. As we discussed how we would pay for it, we decided that our best option to be financially responsible would be to give up cable...and so we did. Like that, it was easy actually. Now, I've had cable all my life...so while it wasn't a huge sacrifice it was definitely a change. We currently have about 12 channels...and most of them are church services. I personally prefer to attend my church services in person, so I don't spend a lot of time in the TV Church land. But I digress...

Somehow I found myself looking at the Compassion webpage a few days later. (I blame flowerdust.net- I was reading her blog that day- more on her later)...and up popped a picture of a precious 4 year old boy that had been waiting for more than 6 months for a sponsor. He had a kind of adorable scowl on his face and I looked at him and saw a kid just like my nephew (I have a nephew that just turned 5, so I have a lot to base that on). It didn't take much more to make me decide to adopt Debu, I knew then and there that he was my boy.

Now proudly displayed on our refrigerator are pictures of 2 beautiful children on the other side of the world...but its the same world...and thats the cool part.

Fastforward to yesterday....I was in Atlanta because my nephew Ross just turned 5. I love all my neices and nephews and it was such a blessing to get to spend some time with Ross. I got him a sword for his birthday because he recently told me he collects swords. It's pretty cool- lights up and all that. I was excited that he seemed to be pumped about it too.

Anyways, on my way to Atlanta, I saw that one of the Compassion bloggers that I also follow on twitter was going to be speaking at a church near where my nephew lives and I thought this would be a great chance to go hear her speak. Her name is Anne Jackson and she might be my new hero. She was at Oakleaf Church in Cartersville (which is an amazing church btw-- they played Zac Brown's "Chicken Fried" after the service...won me over) talking about Compassion. A lot of the message Anne had to bring I already kind of knew-- I mean her words had already helped in convicting me to adopt Debu, but it was so cool to watch the videos she made in India on her Compassion trip and hear the stories as she talked about these children that it was evident she cared about. Its so easy to forget about poverty in the world. Its so easy to live in my nice little North Macon neighborhood and ignore the hungry people downtown and around the world. One of the things Anne said at that service last night was "if you don't live like you believe you were created to change the world, then you are missing the point of salvation" (that's the Amy Kenney paraphrase probably). That really hit me...I guess because its a pretty bold statement...but so true. Its so easy for me to settle for trying to be a good person, but in reality, Jesus rescued us so that we could go and share his love with the world and if we don't go do that we are missing the whole thing.

So anyways, I've been thinking about the whole Compassion International deal in the past day especially in relation to my neices and nephews. Debu is the same age as one of my nephews. He could be right in there with them. I have 7 (and one on the way) neices and nephews and they are some of the coolest kids in the world. I love to be able to buy them things and take them places and just spend time with them. I don't know if Debu has anybody who loves him as much as I love my neices and nephews...but he has me now...and I hope that I can show him that I love him like that...I pray that as I continue in this relationship with Debu that the Lord will teach me how to show love to a precious little boy all the way across the world.

So, I hope that if you're reading this blog you've at least been inspired to read up on what Compassion is about. You can go to their website www.compassion.com. It's an awesome organization and a great way to get involved in really combatting poverty in the world. Check them out, and if you have the means (or can give up cable or something!) look into adopting one of the precious children. It's only like $38 dollars a month. You can choose an age or country or gender or whatever. One side note, if you do decide to check out adopting a kid- look to see the ones with little hearts by their name- that means they've been waiting more than 6 months for a sponsor. Oh, and to read Anne Jackson's blog check out www.flowerdust.net.